CHAPTER XVIII
The second Mocking
No sooner was he in but he saw then apparently how he had been misled and abused, and there for very shame would have drowned himself in very deed, had not Mamri come swiftly flying over and gave him a terrible blow on the noddle with a good Bastinado, that he almost made his brains fly out, and rapt him up by his long hair out of the water unto the land, where he buffeted him so long till at length he came to himself again, then Mamri fewtered himself to abuse him kindly, and there with sweet and compassionative speech comforted him, desiring his reverend Majesty not to take any grief seeing it was done in the sight of all his men, in the knowledge of none. And therewith to shew ye more pity of his misery, he seemed to shed abundance of tears, desiring him to go with him and he would put upon him his soft raiment. The Turk (who then had his crown upon his head or else it had not been half in the right Qu[72]), seeing one lamenting his case so affectionately, condescended unto him and promised him most large honourable promotion and reward. Mamri set him upon his legs and led him to a little muddy place by the river-side, and there varnished the Emperor over with most thick, terrible, and excremental mud, not sparing either his face, nose, eyes, mouth, nor any thing, whilst he miserable man thought he had been in most divine contentment. Thus he led him in the view of five thousand people (for here is to be noted that all that ever saw him both knew him to be the great villain Turk, and could not but laugh most entirely at him, nor his own men could do any other, nor once think of any rescue or remedy, by the working of infernal instinct), until he came to Vienna, and in Vienna to the most fair gates and where greatest resort of people are always together, there at the City gate he drew out a long tabor and a pipe and struck up such a merry note, as the foolish ornament of all London stages never could come near him, no not when he waked the writer of the news out of Purgatory with the shrill noise. There at the gate stood a Carpenter, who was then carrying a Coffin to a certain house to bury one in, him Mephostophiles beat till he lay on the cold ground, and took the Coffin and caused the Turk to hold it in his hand. Memorandum that none of all these Spirits were seen of any one, but felt of them which saw them. Then from the gate he began to play, the Turk and the Coffin skipped and turned, and vaulted, and bounded, and leaped, and heaved, and sprung so fast and so thick together, that the Coffin rapping the miserable man sometime on the shins, breast, thighs, head, face, that the dirty colour was almost wiped away with the streams of blood. At this strange sight and the unheard noise of that kind of Instrument, all the boys, girls, and rogues in the town were gathered with this troupe, and with this mirth he conveyed them round about the streets, and all the way as they went, such eggs, such chamber-pots’ emptyings, such excrements, odoure,[73] water, etc., were thrown down on their heads, that it seemed all those vile matters were reserved for that Tempest, until such time (then it being about two of the clock in the afternoon when everyone is busied in some pleasant pastance[74]), as all this fair company came to the Court, whereout at divers windows lay the chiefest of all the Nobility, and the most brave Gentlewomen, who seeing such a huge crowd of Boys, the great Turk and a Coffin dancing, and a tabor and pipe played upon, they were almost amazed, thus he marched finely round about the whole Court, till coming to the Court gate he entered in (but the Boys were excluded), with this merry Morris there in presence of them all, the Turk fell down dead, whom Mamri laid in the Coffin, and then vanished away.
LUTHER AS A SEVEN-HEADED MONSTER
A caricature of Luther, 1529
Septicepts Lutherus, ubiqe sibi, suis
scriptis cōtrari⁹, in visitationā Saxonicā, p D.D. Ioā. Copleū, Editus
Doctor Martin⁹ Luther⁹ Ecclesiastes Suermer⁹ Visitator Barrabas
Martin Lutherus
Septiceps
Footnotes
[72] Cue (a theatrical term).
[73] Ordure.
[74] Pastime.
CHAPTER XIX
The third