MY WIFE AND I
As my wife and I, at the window one day,
Stood watching a man with a monkey,
A cart came by, with a "broth of a boy,"
Who was driving a stout little donkey.
To my wife I then spoke, by way of a joke,
"There's a relation of yours in that carriage."
To which she replied, as the donkey she spied,
"Ah, yes, a relation—BY MARRIAGE!"
ON TWO GENTLEMEN,
One of whom, O'Connell, delayed a duel on the plea of his wife's illness; the other declined on account of the illness of his daughter.
Some men, with a horror of slaughter,
Improve on the Scripture command,
And honor their wife and their daughter,
That their days may be long in the land.
WELLINGTON'S NOSE.
"Pray, why does the great Captain's nose
Resemble Venice?" Duncomb cries.
"Why," quoth Sam Rogers, "I suppose.
Because it has a bridge of size (sighs)."
THE SMOKER.
All dainty meats I do defy
Which feed men fat as swine,
He is a frugal man indeed
That on a leaf can dine!
He needs no napkin for his hands,
His finger's ends to wipe,
That keeps his kitchen in a box,
And roast meat in his pipe!