Restaurant-keeper (to guest reading his paper): “I am very sorry, sir, to be obliged to ask you not to lunch here in future. You shake your head all the time. I know it’s the politics, but others don’t know it, and it’s hurting my reputation.”
At a Restaurant.—“This beefsteak is so tough the knife won’t go through.”
Restaurant-keeper: “Waiter, another knife for the gentleman.”
“GOODNESS, HOW YOU LOOK, CHILD!”
Father: “Goodness, how you look, child!”
Frankie: “I fell into the canal.”
Father: “What! With your new trousers on?”
Frankie: “I didn’t have time to take ’em off.”
“Allow me, Mademoiselle, to present this to you.”