“Come, John, get up on the mare!”
“Pray, why should I make such a detour to get around to the other side?”
At the Ball.—Gentleman: “Do you play on the piano?”
Lady: “No.”
Gentleman: “Ah, then you sing?”
Lady: “No, sir,—neither have I had the influenza.”
Maid (to her young mistress, who has written a love-letter for her at her request): “Oh, thank you so much, Miss! The letter is beautiful. But please don’t forget to put a postscript: Excuse bad writin’ and spellin’!”
“It is very provoking that your wife should have read my last letter to you. I thought you said she never opens your letters?”
“She doesn’t generally, but you committed the folly of writing ‘Private’ upon the envelope.”
If you ask a man for the date of his birth, he tells you only the year; if you ask a woman, she never tells you more than the day.