“Holes, sir?”
“Of course; the man who is ass enough to pay as much as that will want holes to let his ears through.”
Lawyer—“My friend, you are an ass!”
Witness—“Do you mean, sir, that I am your friend because I am an ass? or that I am an ass because I am your friend?”
Waiter—“Why, sir, there was a gentleman here last week painting this very place.”
Painter (absently)—“Yes. Was he an artist?”
Waiter—“An artist? No, sir; he was a very respectable man.”