Domestic Morality.
“You have not been looking sharp, Bet; the butcher has given you more bones than meat again.”
Bet. “Well, I told him so at the time. I said, if it was for myself I wouldn’t take it.”
Actor. “When I was last acting here, the public were so enthusiastic, you can’t imagine. Why, they insisted on carrying me back to the hotel, when I left the theatre.”
Critic. “Man, man, you don’t mean to say you were so far gone as that?”
Patient. “Doctor, I think I have had an attack of the gout.”
Doctor. “Stuff and nonsense! if you had really had one, you couldn’t think—you’d know it.”