A farmer who had on his land a fig-tree, on which several poor wretches had from time to time done away with themselves, determined to fell it as a thing of evil omen; but before so doing sent a cryer through the town: Should any one wish to hang himself on that fig-tree, he was to make up his mind within three days, for it was going to be cut down.
THE ACCOMMODATING LORD.
As a great lord was dining, his servants at the sideboard turning their backs, there entered a thief, who took one of the best dishes on the table, and, seeing the master of the house looking at him, signed to him to keep quiet, and made off. When the dish was found missing, the lord said, “A thief took it, I saw him do so.”
“Then why didn’t your lordship cry out?”
“Oh, he bade me be quiet.”
DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND.
A chaplain devouring a fine roast pigeon at an inn was asked by a fresh arrival to let him eat with him and he would pay his share. This was refused, and the pedestrian sat down and ate his dry bread, saying afterwards, “Know, reverend sir, you by tasting, and I by smelling, have both eaten the pigeon, although against your wish.”
“If that is so, you must pay your part of the pigeon,” replied the chaplain.
The chaplain insisting, the other refusing, they finally made the village sacristan judge between them. The sacristan, asking what the bird cost, was told half a real, and then made the pedestrian disburse a farthing, which he took and rang on the table, saying, “Reverend sir, inasmuch as he ate by the smell of the pigeon, consider yourself paid by the sound of the money.”