A great nobleman asked certain physicians what was the best time of the day to dine. One replied, at ten; another, at eleven; another, at noon. The oldest said, “My lord, the perfect hour for dining is for the rich man when he feels inclined, for the poor man when he has something to eat.”
THE BEST WIFE IN THE WORLD.
A certain Valencian dame, a very good wife, had one fault: at times she wagged her tongue more than was needful. One evening at a ball she was seized with faintness, and they ran for her husband, telling him his wife had lost her speech. “Let her alone! Let her alone!” said he. “If this lasts, she’ll be the best wife in the world!”
A PIOUS WISH.
A captain, when in Flanders, being robbed of some half-boots made to measure for his feet, which were maimed and crooked, exclaimed, upon discovering his loss, “Please God, they may fit the rogue who stole them!”
A country squire, who had killed a crane, bade his cook roast it. As his master was late to dinner, the cook ate one leg, and when the bird was sent up to table and the other leg asked for, he replied cranes only had one leg. Out shooting cranes another day with his master, he said, “See, sir, they only have one” (for the bird raises one when standing). “S-s-s-s-t!” cried the Squire, and the cranes flew up, each showing two legs. “Oh!” exclaimed the cook, “if you had said ‘S-s-s-s-t!’ to the one on the dish, he would also have brought out his other leg.”
“‘s-s-s-t!’ CRIED THE SQUIRE, AND THE CRANES FLEW UP.”