"Are you engaged?" inquired the lady of Bridget at the intelligence office. "No, mum, but I have regular company for four nights o' the week."
How to gain flesh—buy out a butcher shop.
Ida—"Yes, dear, this is one of those 'perfume' concerts the same as they have in New York."
May—"Perfume? Why I smell gasoline."
Ida—"Well, you see, they are playing the 'Automobile March' now."
When the curtain at the theater takes a drop the majority of the males in the audience go out to follow suit.