"That's what's bothering me," gasped the editor, "I can see it blazing."
Mr. Schmidt—"I don't feel preddy well, Hans. I haf a horse in my throat."
Hans—"Dot 'horse' is nod right. You mean you have a 'colt in your hedt.'"
A green Irishman was sent by his employer to take charge of a Jewish funeral, and upon making his report to his "Boss," Pat says:
"That's a curious custom the Jews have of placing a $20 gold piece in the right hand of the corpse."
"Why, that is to pay his way over the river Jordan."
"Well," says Pat, "if that's the case that Hebrew will have to swim, because I swiped the $20."