"Tommy," said mamma, tearfully, "it gives me as much pain as it does you to punish you."
Tommy (also tearfully)—Mebbe it does, but not in the same place.
"I'll never ask another woman to marry me as long as I live!"
"Refused again?"
"No; accepted."
A wag who thought to have a joke at the expense of an Irish provision dealer said, "Can you supply me with a yard of pork?"
"Pat," said the dealer to his assistant, "give this gentleman three pig's feet."