Now comes the question which will make
This life a bitter cup....
How many hoopskirts will it take
To fill a trolley car up?
"Speaking of accommodating hotel clerks," remarked a Portland commercial traveller, "the best I ever saw was in a town near Bangor. Just before I retired I heard a scampering under the bed and looked under, expecting to see a burglar. Instead I saw a couple of large rats just escaping into their hole. I dressed and went down to the office and put in a big kick. The clerk was as serene as a summer's breeze.
"'I'll fix that, all right, sir,' he said. 'Front! Take a cat to 23 at once.'"
A recent school examination in England elicited the following definitions:
"Noah's wife," wrote one boy, "was called Joan of Arc." "Water," wrote another, "is composed of two gases, oxygen and cambrigen." "Lava," replied a third youth, "is what the barber puts on your face." "A blizzard," insisted another child, "is the inside of a fowl."
"Why don't you demand $50,000 instead of $5,000?" said the lawyer.