"Mike, d' I ever tell ye the story about the dirty window?"
"You did not. Tell me about it."
"No use—you couldn't see through it."
A lady noticed a boy sprinkling salt on the sidewalk to take off the ice, and remarked to a friend, pointing to the salt:
"Now, that's true benevolence."
"No, it ain't," said the boy, somewhat indignant, "it's salt."
Teacher—Thomas, can you tell me which battle Nelson was killed in?
Tommy (after a moment's reflection)—I think it was his last.