One day they said to the Cogia, ‘Pray what may be your horoscope?’ Said the Cogia, ‘I was born under the sign of the He-goat.’ ‘O Cogia,’ said they, ‘there is no such sign as the He-goat.’ Said the Cogia, ‘When I was a child my mother had my horoscope taken, and at that time the Kid was in the ascension.’ ‘O Cogia,’ said they, ‘that’s all right; but a kid is one thing and a he-goat is another.’ Said the Cogia, ‘O you simpletons! Forty or fifty years have passed since then. Must not the kid have become an old goat?’
One day whilst the Cogia was holding an oration at the Castle of Siouri, he was contradicted by the Soubashi or Superintendent. Shortly after, it happened that the Soubashi died and was buried; whereupon they said, ‘Come, Efendi, preach a sermon over him.’ ‘You must find some one else,’ said the Cogia. ‘He won’t mind my words, for he always contradicts me.’
One day two men were sitting together in a shop before their houses, engaged in discourse. Their houses abutted upon each other, and it so happened that a dog came and deposited his dirt on the ground in the middle of the street before
their houses. Said one, ‘It is nigh your house.’ ‘Nay, my good friend,’ said the other, ‘it is nearest to your house, so you must go and take it up.’ So they got into a dispute; and not being able to settle it, they went before the Tribunal. Now it happened that the Cogia had come that day to pay a visit to the Cadi, and sat beside him. Said the Cadi to the Cogia, ‘Do you decide upon their dispute.’ Thereupon the Cogia said to them, ‘Is not that street a public way?’ ‘It is,’ said they. ‘Then,’ said he, ‘one half of the perfumery belongs to you two and the other half to the Cadi.’
One day the Cogia put a yoke upon a calf which he had; the calf ran here and there. Forthwith the Cogia, seizing a stick, fell to banging his ox. ‘O Cogia,’ said the people, ‘why do you beat the ox; how can he be in fault?’ ‘All the fault is his,’ said the Cogia, ‘if he had taught him the calf would have known how to turn.’
One day as the Cogia was travelling in the Derbend he met a shepherd. Said the shepherd to the Cogia, ‘Art thou a faquir?’ ‘Yes,’ said the Cogia. Said the shepherd, ‘See these seven men who are lying here, they were men like you whom I killed because they could not answer questions which I asked. Now, in the first place let us come to an understanding; if you can answer my questions let us hold discourse, if not, let us say nothing.’ Says the Cogia, ‘What
may your questions be?’ Said the shepherd, ‘The moon, when it is new, is small, afterwards it increases, until it looks like a wheel; after the fifteenth, it diminishes, and does not remain; then again, there is a little one, of the size of Hilal, which does remain. Now what becomes of the old moons?’ Says the Cogia, ‘How is it that you don’t know a thing like that? They take those old moons and make lightning of them; have you not seen them when the heaven thunders, glittering like so many swords?’ ‘Bravo, Faquir,’ said the shepherd. ‘Well art thou acquainted with the matter, I had come to the same conclusion myself.’
Nasr Eddin Efendi, now with God, had a sum of money. One day, when all was quiet in the house, he dug in the earth and buried it; then going to the door he looked out and said, ‘I’ll suppose myself a thief, and that I find this, and forthwith take it away and bury it in another place, and my heart is no more troubled about it.’ Thus saying, he came and took up his treasure. Now before the house there was a height, and the Cogia going to the garden of the house, cut a pole, and putting the money in a sack, tied the sack to the top of the pole, and bringing the pole, stuck it up on the top of the height; then going down he looked upwards and said, ‘Unless a man is a bird he cannot fly up to that, I have surely chosen a good place,’ and having said this, he went away. Now it happened that a thief saw all that Cogia
did, and no sooner was the Cogia gone, than he climbed up the height and took down the money, and putting upon the top of the pole a quantity of bullock’s dung, he stuck up the pole again and went his way. Some time afterwards the Cogia being in need of money, came to the foot of the pole and saw that all the money was gone, and that a quantity of bullock’s dung was on the pole. Said he, ‘I said that no man could mount this pole and take away the money, but how bullock’s dung should get to the top of the pole is a very strange matter indeed. So,’ said the Cogia, ‘may the Lord have mercy upon him.’
One day as the Cogia was going to his house, he met a number of students, and said to them, ‘Gentlemen, pray this night come to our house and taste a sup of the old father’s broth.’ ‘Very good,’ said the students, and following the Cogia, came to the house. ‘Pray enter,’ said he, and brought them into the house; then going up to where his wife was, ‘O wife,’ said he, ‘I have brought some travellers that we may give them a cup of broth.’ ‘O master,’ said his wife, ‘is there oil in the house or rice, or have you brought any that you wish to have broth?’ ‘Bless me,’ said the Cogia, ‘give me the broth pan,’ and snatching it up, he forthwith ran to where the students were, and exclaimed, ‘Pray, pardon me, gentlemen, but had there been oil or rice in our house, this is the pan in which I would have served the broth up to you.’