One day the Cogia going into the kitchen of his house, laid himself down; presently the Cogia’s daughter entering into the kitchen to fetch something, saw her father lying hidden behind a cask. ‘O my lord and father, what do you do here?’ said she. ‘What could I better do to get out of your mother’s way than come into this foreign country,’ said the Cogia.
One day when the Cogia was in his chamber, a man knocked at the door of the house. ‘What do you want?’ said the Cogia from above. ‘Come down,’ said the man, who was a beggar. The Cogia forthwith came down and said, ‘What do you want?’ ‘I want your charity,’ said the man. ‘Come upstairs,’ said the Cogia. When the beggar had come up, the Cogia said, ‘God help you.’ ‘O master,’ said the other, ‘why did you not say so below?’ Said the Cogia, ‘When I was above stairs, why did you bring me down.’
Once upon a time the wife of the Cogia was in labour; one day, two days, she sat upon the chair but could not bring forth; the women who attended her cried from the interior apartment to the Cogia: ‘O master, do you know no prayer by means of which the child may be brought into the world?’ ‘I know a specific,’ said the Cogia, and forthwith running to a grocer’s shop he procured some walnuts, and bringing them he said, ‘Make way,’ and going into the room he spread the walnuts under the
chair, and said: ‘Now that the child sees the walnuts he will come out to play with them.’
One day the Cogia’s wife, in order to plague the Cogia, boiled some broth exceedingly hot, brought it into the room and placed it on the table. The wife then, forgetting that it was hot, took a spoon and put some into her mouth, and, scalding herself, began to shed tears. ‘O wife,’ said the Cogia, ‘what is the matter with you; is the broth hot?’ ‘Dear Efendi,’ said the wife, ‘my mother, who is now dead, loved broth very much; I thought of that, and wept on her account.’ The Cogia thinking that what she said was truth, took a spoonful of the broth, and burning his mouth began to cry and bellow. ‘What is the matter with you?’ said his wife; ‘why do you cry?’ Said the Cogia, ‘You cry because your mother is gone, but I cry because her daughter is here.’
One day the Cogia’s wife went to the hall of preaching; and, after listening to the sermon, came home. Said the Cogia, ‘O wife, what did the preacher say?’ ‘He said,’ replied the wife, ‘that if any one has a night’s copulation with his lawful wife the Almighty God will build for him a mansion in paradise.’ After they had gone to bed the Cogia said, ‘Come, let us build a house in paradise.’ Thereupon they copulated. Shortly afterwards the wife said, ‘O Cogia, you have built a house for yourself, pray now build a house
for me!’ Said the Cogia, ‘I could easily build a house for you, but I fear that I should have to build houses for your father and mother, and not only for them, but for all your family and relations, so that the Master Builder above would become angry. Come, one house must suffice for us two.’
One day the Cogia met a company of young students and said unto them, ‘Pray come along with me to our house.’ So he led them to the door of the house and then said, ‘Pray stay here a little, whilst I go in.’ Then going in he said, ‘O wife, pray go and send those people away.’ Whereupon the wife went and said, ‘The Cogia is not come home.’ Said the students, ‘What do you mean by talking so? The Cogia came hither in our company.’ ‘He did not come,’ said the wife. ‘But he did,’ said the students, and made a great outcry. The Cogia hearing a noise from above, thrust his head out of the window, exclaiming, ‘Holloa, my men: what is all this dispute for? You must know that this house has two doors. No sooner did I come in by one than I left the house by the other.’
One day the son of the Cogia said, ‘O Father, I know that I was begotten by you.’ His mother becoming very angry, said, ‘What nonsense is the brat talking that he calls himself the son of a whore?’ Said the Cogia, ‘O wife, don’t be
angry, he is a wise son if he knows what he says he does.’