"Now I understand why the foreign devil never has more than one wife. He is afraid!"—Western Christian Advocate.
PAT—"I hear your woife is sick, Moike."
MIKE—"She is thot."
PAT—"Is it dangerous she is?"
MIKE—"Divil a bit. She's too weak to be dangerous any more!"
SON—"Say, mama, father broke this vase before he went out."
MOTHER—"My beautiful majolica vase! Wait till he comes back, that's all."
SON—"May I stay up till he does?"