PAT—"Is it dangerous she is?"
MIKE—"Divil a bit. She's too weak to be dangerous any more!"
SON—"Say, mama, father broke this vase before he went out."
MOTHER—"My beautiful majolica vase! Wait till he comes back, that's all."
SON—"May I stay up till he does?"
"Because a fellow has six talking machines," said the boarder who wants to be an end man, "it doesn't follow that he is a Mormon."
It was a wizened little man who appeared before the judge and charged his wife with cruel and abusive treatment. His better half was a big, square-jawed woman with a determined eye.