PROUD FATHER—"Rick, my boy, if you live up to your oration you'll be an honor to the family."
VALEDICTORIAN-"I expect to do better than that, father. I am going to try to live up to the baccalaureate sermon."
BACTERIA
There once were some learned M.D.'s,
Who captured some germs of disease,
And infected a train
Which, without causing pain,
Allowed one to catch it with ease.