"No waves for you, Father," remarked the little one. "You're all beach."
"Were any of your boyish ambitions ever realized?" asked the sentimentalist.
"Yes," replied the practical person. "When my mother used to cut my hair I often wished I might be bald-headed."
Congressman Longworth is not gifted with much hair, his head being about as shiny as a billiard ball.
One day ex-president Taft, then Secretary of War, and Congressman Longworth sallied into a barbershop.
"Hair cut?" asked the barber of Longworth.
"Yes," answered the Congressman.
"Oh, no, Nick," commented the Secretary of War from the next chair, "you don't want a hair cut; you want a shine."