PATIENT (angrily)—"The size of your bill makes my blood boil."
DOCTOR—"Then that will be $20 more for sterilizing your system."
At the bedside of a patient who was a noted humorist, five doctors were in consultation as to the best means of producing a perspiration.
The sick man overheard the discussion, and, after listening for a few moments, he turned his head toward the group and whispered with a dry chuckle:
"Just send in your bills, gentlemen; that will bring it on at once."
"Thank Heaven, those bills are got rid of," said Bilkins, fervently, as he tore up a bundle of statements of account dated October 1st.
"All paid, eh?" said Mrs. Bilkins.
"Oh, no," said Bilkins. "The duplicates dated November 1st have come in and I don't have to keep these any longer."