STUDE.—"Is it possible to confide a secret to you?"
FRIEND—"Certainly. I will be as silent as the grave."
STUDE—"Well, then, I have a pressing need for two bucks."
FRIEND—"Do not worry. It is as if I had heard nothing." —-Michigan Gargoyle.
"Why did you come to college, anyway? You are not studying," said the Professor.
"Well," said Willie, "I don't know exactly myself. Mother says it is to fit me for the Presidency; Uncle Bill, to sow my wild oats; Sis, to get a chum for her to marry, and Pa, to bankrupt the family."
A young Irishman at college in want of twenty-five dollars wrote to his uncle as follows: