"How different from the home life of our late dear queen!"
"Darling," whispered the ardent suitor, "I lay my fortune at your feet."
"Your fortune?" she replied in surprise. "I didn't know you had one."
"Well, it isn't much of a fortune, but it will look large besides those tiny feet."
"Girls make me tired," said the fresh young man. "They are always going to palmists to have their hands read."
"Indeed!" said she sweetly; "is that any worse than men going into saloons to get their noses red?"
A friend once wrote Mark Twain a letter saying that he was in very bad health, and concluding: "Is there anything worse than having toothache and earache at the same time?"