"How am I out of order?" yelled the man from Illinois.
"Probably a veterinary surgeon could tell you," answered Johnson, and that was parliamentary enough to stay on the record.
A Georgia Congressman had put up at an American-plan hotel in New York. When, upon sitting down at dinner the first evening of his stay, the waiter obsequiously handed him a bill of fare, the Congressman tossed it aside, slipped the waiter a dollar bill, and said, "Bring me a good dinner."
The dinner proving satisfactory, the Southern member pursued this plan during his entire stay in New York. As the last tip was given, he mentioned that he was about to return to Washington.
Whereupon, the waiter, with an expression of great earnestness, said:
"Well, sir, when you or any of your friends that can't read come to New York, just ask for Dick."
CONSCIENCE
The moral of this story may be that it is better to heed the warnings of the "still small voice" before it is driven to the use of the telephone.