Up in Minnesota Mr. Olsen had a cow killed by a railroad train. In due season the claim agent for the railroad called.
"We understand, of course, that the deceased was a very docile and valuable animal," said the claim agent in his most persuasive claim-agentlemanly manner "and we sympathize with you and your family in your loss. But, Mr. Olsen, you must remember this: Your cow had no business being upon our tracks. Those tracks are our private property and when she invaded them, she became a trespasser. Technically speaking, you, as her owner, became a trespasser also. But we have no desire to carry the issue into court and possibly give you trouble. Now then, what would you regard as a fair settlement between you and the railroad company?"
"Vail," said Mr. Olsen slowly, "Ay bane poor Swede farmer, but Ay shall give you two dollars."
DANCING
He was a remarkably stout gentleman, excessively fond of dancing, so his friends asked him why he had stopped, and was it final?
"Oh, no, I hope not," sighed the old fellow. "I still love it, and I've merely stopped until I can find a concave lady for a partner."
George Bernard Shaw was recently entertained at a house party. While the other guests were dancing, one of the onlookers called Mr. Shaw's attention to the awkward dancing of a German professor.
"Really horrid dancing, isn't it, Mr. Shaw?"