"Well," sighed an optimistic sergeant, "thank God, we're holdin' our own, anyhow!"
DIVORCE
"When a woman marries and then divorces her husband inside of a week what would you call it?"
"Taking his name in vain."—Princeton Tiger.
DOGS
LADY (to tramp who had been commissioned to find her lost poodle)—"The poor little darling, where did you find him?"
TRAMP—"Oh, a man 'ad 'im, miss, tied to a pole, and was cleaning the windows wiv 'im!"