"My dog took first prize at the cat show."
"How was that?"
"He took the cat."—Judge.
FAIR VISITOR—"Why are you giving Fido's teeth such a thorough brushing?"
FOND MISTRESS—"Oh! The poor darling's just bitten some horrid person, and, really, you know, one can't be too careful."—Life.
"Do you know that that bulldog of yours killed my wife's little harmless, affectionate poodle?"
"Well, what are you going to do about it?"
"Would you be offended if I was to present him with a nice brass collar?"