DRESSMAKERS
WIFE—"Wretch! Show me that letter."
HUSBAND—"What letter?"
WIFE—"That one in your hand. It's from a woman, I can see by the writing, and you turned pale when you saw it."
HUSBAND—"Yes. Here it is. It's your dressmaker's bill."
DRINKING
He who goes to bed, and goes to bed sober,
Falls as the leaves do, and dies in October;
But he who goes to bed, and does so mellow,