"What did you do with it?"
"Well, sur, I was walking along and I met a friend, and we went into a place and spint $8. Thin we came out and I met another friend and we spint $8 more, and thin I come out and we met another friend and we spint $8 more, and thin we come out and we met another bunch of friends, and I spint $8 more—and thin I come home."
"But, Murphy, that makes only $32. What did you do with the other $3?" Murphy thought. Then he shook his head slowly and said:
"I dunno, colonel, I reckon I must have squandered that money foolishly."
FAILURES
Little Ikey came up to his father with a very solemn face. "Is it true, father," he asked, "that marriage is a failure?"
His father surveyed him thoughtfully for a moment. "Well, Ikey," he finally replied, "If you get a rich wife, it's almost as good as a failure."