The father of the family hurried to the telephone and called up the family physician. "Our little boy is sick, Doctor," he said, "so please come at once."
"I can't get over much under an hour," said the doctor.
"Oh please do, Doctor. You see, my wife has a book on 'What to Do Before the Doctor Comes,' and I'm so afraid she'll do it before you get here!"
NURSE GIRL—"Oh, ma'am, what shall I do? The twins have fallen down the well!"
FOND PARENT—"Dear me! how annoying! Just go into the library and get the last number of The Modern Mother's Magazine; it contains an article on 'How to Bring Up Children.'"
SURGEON AT NEW YORK HOSPITAL—"What brought you to this dreadful condition? Were you run over by a street-car?"
PATIENT—"No, sir; I fainted, and was brought to by a member of the Society of First Aid to the Injured."—Life.