A certain young man's friends thought he was dead, but he was only in a state of coma. When, in ample time to avoid being buried, he showed signs of life, he was asked how it seemed to be dead.
"Dead?" he exclaimed. "I wasn't dead. I knew all that was going on. And I knew I wasn't dead, too, because my feet were cold and I was hungry."
"But how did that fact make you think you were still alive?" asked one of the curious.
"Well, this way; I knew that if I were in heaven I wouldn't be hungry. And if I was in the other place my feet wouldn't be cold."
FATHER (impressively)—"Suppose I should be taken away suddenly, what would become of you, my boy?"
IRREVERENT SON—"I'd stay here. The question is, What would become of you?"
"Look here, now, Harold," said a father to his little son, who was naughty, "if you don't say your prayers you won't go to Heaven."
"I don't want to go to Heaven," sobbed the boy; "I want to go with you and mother."