"Sure, sir," faltered the accused, "I never drink a drop."
"Have a cigar, then," urged his honor persuasively, as he absently polished the top of the judicial desk with his pocket handkerchief.
"We had a fine sunrise this morning," said one New Yorker to another. "Did you see it?"
"Sunrise?" said the second man. "Why, I'm always in bed before sunrise."
A traveling man who was a cigarette smoker reached town on an early train. He wanted a smoke, but none of the stores were open. Near the station he saw a newsboy smoking, and approached him with:
"Say, son, got another cigarette?"
"No, sir," said the boy, "but I've got the makings."
"All right," the traveling man said. "But I can't roll 'em very well. Will you fix one for me?"