"George," said the Titian-haired school marm, "is there any connecting link between the animal kingdom and the vegetable kingdom?"
"Yeth, ma'am," answered George promptly. "Hash."
HASTE
The ferry-dock was crowded with weary home-goers when through the crowd rushed a man—hot, excited, laden to the chin with bundles of every shape and size. He sprinted down the pier, his eyes fixed on a ferryboat only two or three feet out from the pier. He paused but an instant on the string-piece, and then, cheered on by the amused crowd, he made a flying leap across the intervening stretch of water and landed safely on the deck. A fat man happened to be standing on the exact spot on which he struck, and they both went down with a resounding crash. When the arriving man had somewhat recovered his breath he apologized to the fat man. "I hope I didn't hurt you," he said. "I am sorry. But, anyway I caught the boat!"
"But you idiot," said the fat man, "the boat was coming in!"
HEALTH RESORTS
"Where've you been, Murray?"
"To a health resort. Finest place I ever struck. It was simply great."