VISITOR—"And you always did your daring robberies single-handed? Why didn't you have a pal?"
PRISONER—"Well, sir, I wuz afraid he might turn out to be dishonest."
Ex-District Attorney Jerome, at a dinner in New York, told a story about honesty. "There was a man," he said, "who applied for a position in a dry-goods house. His appearance wasn't prepossessing, and references were demanded. After some hesitation, he gave the name of a driver in the firm's employ. This driver, he thought, would vouch for him. A clerk sought out the driver, and asked him if the applicant was honest. 'Honest?' the driver said. 'Why, his honesty's been proved again and again. To my certain knowledge he's been arrested nine times for stealing and every time he was acquitted.'"
"How is it, Mr. Brown," said a miller to a farmer, "that when I came to measure those ten barrels of apples I bought from you, I found them nearly two barrels short?"
"Singular, very singular; for I sent them to you in ten of your own flour-barrels."
"Ahem! Did, eh?" said the miller. "Well, perhaps I made a mistake. Let's imbibe."