"'A letter for me, dear. May I open it?'"—Edwin Tarrisse.
"Your husband says he leads a dog's life," said one woman.
"Yes, it's very similar," answered the other. "He comes in with muddy feet, makes himself comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed."
NEIGHBOR—"I s'pose your Bill's 'ittin' the 'arp with the hangels now?"
LONG-SUFFERING WIDOW—"Not 'im. 'Ittin' the hangels wiv the 'arp's nearer 'is mark!"
"You say you are your wife's third husband?" said one man to another during a talk.
"No, I am her fourth husband," was the reply.