"The doctor says if 'e lasts till moring 'e'll 'ave some 'ope, but if 'e don't, the doctor says 'e give 'im up."
For rent—A room for a gentleman with all conveniences.
A servant of an English nobleman died and her relatives telegraphed him: "Jane died last night, and wishes to know if your lordship will pay her funeral expenses."
A pretty school teacher, noticing one of her little charges idle, said sharply: "John, the devil always finds something for idle hands to do. Come up here and let me give you some work."
A college professor, noted for strict discipline, entered the classroom one day and noticed a girl student sitting with her feet in the aisle and chewing gum.
"Mary," exclaimed the indignant professor, "take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in."