A little old Irishman was trying to see the Hudson-Fulton procession from Grant's Tomb. He stood up on a bench, but was jerked down by a policeman. Then he tried the stone balustrade and being removed from that vantage point, climbed the railing of Li Hung Chang's gingko-tree. Pulled off that, he remarked: "Ye can't look at annything frum where ye can see it frum."
MRS. JENKINS—"Mrs. Smith, we shall be neighbors now. I have bought a house next you, with a water frontage."
MRS. SMITH—"So glad! I hope you will drop in some time."
In the hall of a Philharmonic society the following notice was posted:
"The seats in this hall are for the use of the ladies. Gentlemen are requested to make use of them only after the former are seated."
Sir Boyle Roche is credited with saying that "no man can be in two places at the same time, barring he is a bird."