JENNIE—"What makes George such a pessimist?"
JACK—"Well, he's been married three times—once for love, once for money and the last time for a home."
Matrimony is the root of all evil.
One day Mary, the charwoman, reported for service with a black eye.
"Why, Mary," said her sympathetic mistress, "what a bad eye you have!"
"Yes'm."
"Well, there's one consolation. It might have been worse."