"Oh, very well, James!" said the wife, with an ominous calmness, "If you think the man who holds the note can make things any hotter for you than I can—why, do as you say, James!"
A young lady entered a book store and inquired of the gentlemanly clerk—a married man, by-the-way—if he had a book suitable for an old gentleman who had been married fifty years.
Without the least hesitation the clerk reached for a copy of Parkman's "A Half Century of Conflict."
Smith and Jones were discussing the question of who should be head of the house—the man or the woman.
"I am the head of my establishment," said Jones. "I am the bread-winner. Why shouldn't I be?"
"Well," replied Smith, "before my wife and I were married we made an agreement that I should make the rulings in all major things, my wife in all the minor."
"How has it worked?" queried Jones.
Smith smiled. "So far," he replied, "no major matters have come up."