One night at a theatre some scenery took fire, and a very perceptible odor of burning alarmed the spectators. A panic seemed to be imminent, when an actor appeared on the stage.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "compose yourselves. There is no danger."
The audience did not seem reassured.
"Ladies and gentlemen," continued the comedian, rising to the necessity of the occasion, "confound it all—do you think if there was any danger I'd be here?"
The panic collapsed.
PARENTS
William, aged five, had been reprimanded by his father for interrupting while his father was telling his mother about the new telephone for their house. He sulked awhile, then went to his mother, and, patting her on the cheeks, said, "Mother dear, I love you."
"Don't you love me too?" asked his father.
Without glancing at him, William said disdainfully, "The wire's busy."