"I haven't heard of any accident, young man," replied the disfigured party stiffly.
He was one of the directors of the railroad.
The Hon. John Sharp Williams had an engagement to speak in a small southern town. The train he was traveling on was not of the swiftest, and he lost no opportunity of keeping the conductor informed as to his opinions of that particular road.
"Well, if yer don't like it," the conductor finally blurted out, "why in thunder don't yer git out an' walk?"
"I would," Mr. Williams blandly replied, "but you see the committee doesn't expect me until this train gets in."
"We were bounding along," said a recent traveler on a local South African single-line railway, "at the rate of about seven miles an hour, and the whole train was shaking terribly. I expected every moment to see my bones protruding through my skin. Passengers were rolling from oneend of the car to the other. I held on firmly to the arms of the seat. Presently we settled down a bit quieter; at least, I could keep my hat on, and my teeth didn't chatter."There was a quiet looking man opposite me. I looked up with a ghastly smile, wishing to appear cheerful, and said:
"'We are going a bit smoother, I see.'
"'Yes,' he said, 'we're off the track now.'"