REHEARSALS
The funeral procession was moving along the village street when Uncle Abe stepped out of a store. He hadn't heard the news. "Sho," said Uncle Abe, "who they buryin' today?"
"Pore old Tite Harrison," said the storekeeper.
"Sho," said Uncle Abe. "Tite Harrison, hey? Is Tite dead?"
"You don't think we're rehearsin' with him, do you?" snapped the storekeeper.
RELATIVES
"It is hard, indeed," said the melancholy gentleman, "to lose one's relatives."
"Hard?" snorted the gentleman of wealth. "Hard? It is impossible!"
RELIGIONS
When Bishop Phillips Brooks sailed from America on his last trip to Europe, a friend jokingly remarked that while abroad he might discover some new religion to bring home with him. "But be careful of it, Bishop Brooks," remarked a listening friend; "it may be difficult to get your new religion through the Custom House."