Among the members of a working gang on a certain railroad was an Irishman who claimed to be very good at figures. The boss, thinking that he would get ahead of Pat, said: "Say, Pat, how many shirts can you get out of a yard?"
"That depends," answered Pat, "on whose yard you get into."
A middle-aged farmer accosted a serious-faced youth outside the Grand Central Station in New York the other day.
"Young man," he said, plucking his sleeve, "I wanter go to Central Park."
The youth seemed lost in consideration for a moment.
"Well," he said finally, "you may just this once. But I don't want you ever, ever to ask me again."
SEEDY VISITOR— "Do you have many wrecks about here, boatman?"
BOATMAN—"Not very many, sir. You're the first I've seen this season."