SUB-MANAGER—"Why?"

LEADING MAN—"I have four days' growth upon my chin. One cannot play Hamlet in a beard!"

SUB-MANAGER—"Um—well—we'll put on Macbeth!"


HE—"But what reason have you for refusing to marry me?"

SHE—"Papa objects. He says you are an actor."

HE-"Give my regards to the old boy and tell him I'm sorry he isn't a newspaper critic."


The hero of the play, after putting up a stiff fight with the villain, had died to slow music.

The audience insisted on his coming before the curtain.