"Then you don't think I practice what I preach, eh?" queried the minister in talking with one of the deacons at a meeting.
"No, sir, I don't," replied the deacon "You've been preachin' on the subject of resignation for two years an' ye haven't resigned yet."
RESPECTABILITY
"Is he respectable?"'
"Eminently so. He's never been indicted for anything less than stealing a railroad."—Wasp.
REST CURE
A weather-beaten damsel somewhat over six feet in height and with a pair of shoulders proportionately broad appeared at a back door in Wyoming and asked for light housework. She said that her name was Lizzie, and explained that she had been ill with typhoid and was convalescing.
"Where did you come from, Lizzie?" inquired the woman of the house. "Where have you been?"
"I've been workin' out on Howell's ranch," replied Lizzie, "diggin' post-holes while I was gittin' my strength back."