And the hen, just for that,
Laid an egg in his hat,
And thus did the Hen reward Beecher.
RHEUMATISM
FARMER BARNES—"I've bought a barometer, Hannah, to tell when it's going to rain, ye know."
MRS. BARNES—"To tell when it's goin' to rain! Why, I never heard o' such extravagance. What do ye s'pose th' Lord has given ye th' rheumatis for?"—Tit-Bits.
ROADS
A Yankee just returning to the states was dining with an Englishman, and the latter complained of the mud in America.
"Yes," said the American, "but it's nothing to the mud over here."
"Nonsense!" said the Englishman.