"And do you have to be called in the morning?" asked the lady who was about to engage a new girl.
"I don't has to be, mum," replied the applicant, "unless you happens to need me."
A maid dropped and broke a beautiful platter at a dinner recently. The host did not permit a trifle like this to ruffle him in the least.
"These little accidents happen 'most every day," he said apologetically. "You see, she isn't a trained waitress. She was a dairymaid originally, but she had to abandon that occupation on account of her inability to handle the cows without breaking their horns."
Young housewives obliged to practice strict economy will sympathize with the sad experience of a Washington woman.
When her husband returned home one evening he found her dissolved in tears, and careful questioning elicited the reason for her grief.
"Dan," said she, "every day this week I have stopped to look at a perfect love of a hat in Mme. Louise's window. Such a hat, Dan, such a beautiful hat! But the price—well, I wanted it the worst way, but just couldn't afford to buy it."
"Well, dear," began the husband recklessly, "we might manage to—"