"Hi, there! Don't do that!" cried the captain in great alarm. "Pour out about a third of that water. If you don't, when the tide rises she'll bust sure."
Nae man can tether time or tide.—Burns.
TIME
Mrs. Hooligan was suffering from the common complaint of having more to do than there was time to do it in. She looked up at the clock and then slapped the iron she had lifted from the stove back on the lid with a clatter. "Talk about toime and toide waitin' fer no man," she muttered as she hurried into the pantry; "there's toimes they waits, an' toimes they don't. Yistherday at this blessed minit 'twas but tin o'clock an' to-day it's a quarther to twilve."
MRS. MURPHY—"Oi hear yer brother-in-law, Pat Keegan, is pretty bad off."
MRS. CASEY—"Shure, he's good for a year yit."
MRS. MURPHY—"As long as thot?"
MRS. CASEY—"Yis; he's had four different doctors, and each one av thim give him three months to live."—Puck.