FATHER—"Mildred, if you disobey again I will surely spank you."
On father's return home that evening, Mildred once more acknowledged that she had again disobeyed.
FATHER (firmly)—"You are going to be spanked. You may choose your own time. When shall it be?"
MILDRED (five years old, thoughtfully)—"Yesterday."
A northerner passing a rundown looking place in the South, stopped to chat with the farmer. He noticed the hogs running wild and explained that in the North the farmers fattened their hogs much faster by shutting them in and feeding them well.
"Hell!" replied the southerner, "What's time to a hog."
Dost thou love life? Then waste not time; for time is the stuff that life is made of.—Benjamin Franklin.