If you want a neat wife, choose her on a Saturday.

—Poor Richard’s Almanac.

April Twenty-second

She—“They are the most wonderful compositions in the language.”

He—“They don’t compare with Jack Harvey’s. Why, he wrote a letter of condolence to a widow and she took off her mourning immediately.”

—Life.

April Twenty-third

Drying a widow’s tears is one of the most dangerous occupations known to man.

—Dorothy Dix.

April Twenty-fourth