Well then he tells me what it is that he wants to ask me about and it seems there is an international problem because there is a Hungarian count that wants to come into this country because his wife is here and she is sick but he is not being let to come because they say he is a Bolshiviki but there is an awful fuss being made about it.
And I says, “But why I thought we had regular laws to keep them Dagos and Hunkies and Wops out of this country.” And he says, “Yes, but this one is a sure enough count and is a rich man too and the laws is not meant for that sort. And besides,” he says “the state department is not got very much nerve just now the old gentleman that is in charge of it is called by the name of Scared Sally and he is even more scared than the Spokesman Himself. He was a senator from his home state but that state kicked him out and so the Spokesman is give him a home in the cabinet; and he is scared of this Bolshiviki count to let him in and he is scared to not let him in and they are all in a terrible stew up at the big white house and this evening there is got to be a statement give out about why he is not let in and they can’t think of no reasons except some that they cannot give out.”
“And what is them?” I says and he tells me a funny story, gee it is complicated these international affairs!
It seems that some of the young fellers in this state department is gone and got themselves wives out of this here foreign nobility thinking it was something extra swell you know but now there is come revolutions and all these Dago counts and Hunky princes and Wop grand dukes is kicked out or is about to get kicked out and the young men in the state department finds themselves stuck with second-hand wives as you might say that is to say they is badly faded and passay and not noble or swell no more. In this here country of Hungary they have got back but only for a little while because this Bolshiviki count is going to kick them out again and so they hate him and that is why our state department is fighting so hard to help them and keep the secretarie’s wives noble as long as it can be done. And that is why our government lends loans to these countries and why they dassn’t allow that nobody shall come in from them countries and tell what is going on there.
And I says, “But Mr. Edgerton it seems to me that in a case like that it is very plain what to do.” “And what is it?” he says. And I says, “I would say that it is a situation that the least said about it the better.” And he says, “Yes of course.” And I says, “Then why not say the least?” And he says, “What is the least?” And I says, “The least is nothing.”
Well he looks at me like I was prophet come down from heaven or something and he says, “My God Miss Riggs you are a wonder!” “No,” I says, “I am only a field Grammarian,” I says, “but even so I can see that when there is nothing you can say the thing to do is to hold your mouth. And I have heard so much in the papers about this Spokesman being a Strong Silent Man and it is seems to me that this is just the time for Him to be Strong in His Silence and Silent in His Strength,” I says, “and you had better just make up your mind that this here Bolshiviki count stays out and that nobody says a word about it from the first to the last,” I says, “and that is the way I would play the game of politics if I was Him.”
And he says, “Miss Riggs you are Him, I believe! You are Him in the Female Incarnation!” And so I am
Your very flattered
Mame.